thoughts/feelings/etc.

I can't take it anymore. I feel so lonely and sad all the time that i just don't know what to do with myself. I just feel like throwing up; in hopes that this feeling will go away. I don't know what else to do. Sometimes I just want to rip my heart out and throw it on the ground and just leave it there. I don't even know what I want anymore. Maybe I just want to stop crying all the time. Maybe I just want to be happier, I really don't know. I hate myself for feeling like this but i don't know what else to do with my life. I constantly feel like I have no friends. I feel like i'm worth anything, which might be true, but I just don't want to be reminded of it all the time. I don't know. I hope this is just a temporary feeling, because I don't really need this right now.

idk what to do with myself. i think i'm in love. or something. this is a weird feeling. i wish life would stop torturing me like this.

All these years I've tried so hard not to like anyone and then this year this guy just waltzes into my life and makes me feel like i'm not good enough or something. It's a strange feeling, actually. He "flirts" and smiles, and looks at me all the time while I'm reading, doing work ,or just talking to my friends, but when I try talking to him he kind of pushes me away. We haven't really talked much but he makes me feel weird. I am constantly thinking about him, but there's nothing I can do. I am just trying so hard not to fall for someone that I might never see again after June. The way I feel towards this person is awkward, only because I've never felt like this before and it's a strange feeling. I hope I don't end up being disappointed or anything. I just hope things go back to normal. I hate feeling like i can't do anything. Feeling trapped in my own feelings. I guess that's it.